Christina Aguilera once sang,”You are beautiful no matter what they say,words can’t bring you down.” The latter is, no matter how badly we want it to be, not true. Words can and has always been able to bring you down, regardless of the level of confidence you possess. I always thought that if you know your weaknesses or shortcomings and make peace with it, no one can use it against you but I was sadly mistaken, it still hurts. Many have been talking body confidence so allow me to add my 2 cents.
Idealistic standards have always been set by the media and fashion industry specifically. The whole size 0 concept has always been the metaphorical thorn in my side and I’ll tell you why: I’m naturally skinny, petite or whatever you may call it and most people assume that I starve myself or have this crazy fitness regime when in actuality neither are the case. I eat more than a lot of people I’ve met and I’ve only been in the gym 3 months of my life. I walk my dog whenever I have the energy to, which ranges from every day to once every 2nd week. The scale is not my friend, never has been and probably never will be. My reason for that might be completely different to most people as you usually hate the scale when you want to shed the pounds and don’t see the difference in numbers. Mine is simply that I want to gain weight and it’s disheartening when you’ve scoffed down tons of food for months and there’s no increase in that number.
I find it highly irritating when people scold me for trying to gain by reminding me how many people would “kill” to look like me. I honestly don’t care, you do you and I’ll do me. All I want to do it gain weight and actually look like someone in her late 20’s and not some 15 year old boy. I don’t get excited about the concept of shopping anymore, even though it’s one of my indulgences because everything I like is usually too big for me and I don’t have the energy or sewing skills to alter it.
People seem to preach a lot about overweight/thick people accepting themselves and loving their bodies. I agree wholeheartedly with that but I don’t agree with statements such as “real men love curves, only dogs like bones.” Seriously? You can’t empower one without putting the other down? You think I like being able to literally count my ribs? Or that it’s fun walking into a table and experiencing paralysing pain because you hit your protruding hipbone? Or walking into a shop and the only things that actually fit you have flowers and butterflies on it? Yes I’m skinny and I’ve been that way my entire life. I’ve had people asking me if “Are you sick?” or my absolute favourite, “Do you tik?” at a time when I didn’t even know what the hell tik was nor have I ever actually seen it.
As a skinny person it’s assumed that you don’t have the usual problems of stretch marks, cellulite, body insecurities etc. but trust me we do, well I do. I’ve never worn skirts or short dresses because I hated my skinny legs, I don’t wear watches because they slip right off and chokers, don’t even get me started on those.It might seem like I’m complaining, which I am to a certain extent but I just wanted to put it out there. We all suffer from insecurities, whether you’re skinny or fat, beautiful or less beautiful than prescribed by social standards. It took me a really long time to accept what I look like and the struggles that comes along with it but all of that work comes undone when someone makes an insensitive remark.
My conclusion is that no one is ever 100% happy with the way they look, if they were makeup brands, medical clinics etc. wouldn’t be booming businesses. The point is it’s OK to want to change a few things about yourself as long as you’re still YOU. My motto has always been, “I may not be perfect to you but I’m perfectly me” and I try to bear that in mind whenever I’m faced with negativity. I hope you find yours if you haven’t already.