Slut shaming

It’s not easy to remain objective about a topic that affects so many women in our society but I’ll try my utmost best. According to Wikipedia slut shaming is “a form of social stigma applied to people who are perceived to violate traditional expectations for sexual behaviors, commonly applied to women and girls.” In Melanie Pretorius‘ words ” it’s if a woman does not conform to the social standards set in place for her by society as far as sex, her behavior and/or dress code are concerned”. Some people own the term if it’s used in reference to them (think Amber Rose) others allow it to define them and in turn it leads to them conforming, which I personally feel can only lead to depression and losing your sense of self. Gender stereotypes have been around forever and I doubt it will ever go away because we’ve decided to live and judge others by it. If a man sleeps around, he’s seen as a master, “The Man”, a hero to his friends and other dimwits but if a woman enjoys sex with multiple partners and dress provocatively, she’s seen as a slut and that information is usually used against her when she cries rape.

SlutS

 

We’ve heard of so many cases (and I refer to South Africa specifically) where women were raped because they wear short skirts/dresses/shorts, I mean if these clothes weren’t meant to be worn, why do stores sell it? Why do we, as women have to feel ashamed of the fact that we’re confident with our bodies? Even if we walked around stark naked (think Adam and Eve) that still doesn’t give anyone the bloomin’ right to rape us! There’s a saying that if a lock can be opened by multiple keys, it’s a bad lock (referring to women sleeping around) but if a key can open every lock, it’s a master key (in reference to men sleeping around), that’s society’s twisted view on sex and the enjoyment thereof. Sleeping around should never be accepted as a norm, not for men or women, I mean if you respect yourself and your partner you won’t do it, right? If it’s a personal act of love to you, it shouldn’t be shared with just every Tom, Dick and Harry, should it?

The saddest part of slut shaming is that it’s often done by females against other females when they know their hands aren’t squeaky clean either, ever heard of “let thee without sin cast the first stone”? People will cheat, for some it’s in their DNA, others enjoy the thrill of doing something they’re not supposed to but that doesn’t justify it. Nor does saying “it’s fine for men to cheat but not for women,” who made you the judge of who may receive immunity or not? Whenever a cheating scandal occurs, the woman is always to blame…without fail. Ever heard of “it takes two to tango”? Obviously she wasn’t cheating on her own, he was a willing participant, fully aware that society would only judge her as this is the norm for men. Why are you, as men, fathers, protectors, the ones that we look up to, fine with that stereotype? Is that the legacy that you would like to leave behind for future generations? That men, the head of the family, the provider and protector, the leaders of our society will always succumb to the temptation of the flesh. That you are weak, pathetic excuses for men but it’s accepted by society so that makes it acceptable?

It’s about time you start thinking of your daughters, would you want her to be courted by someone like you? Women, you’re supposed to empower and support each other, what satisfaction do you get out of bringing your sister down? Is this really a legacy we want to leave behind for our children? What happened to love thy neighbor as thyself, would you inflict this pain and humiliation on yourself? We as a society need to take a step back and re-evaluate our stance and views on certain things, we need to understand that children does not do as we say, they do as we do, is that a future we want for them? Next time you think of hurting someone intentionally, just take a second and think “if my son/daughter has to see/hear me, would they be proud of my actions?” Try, by all means to bring back the power of ubuntu and sit back, knowing that we’re leaving this world in a better state that we found it in.

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